Friday, November 21, 2008
A long shadow of a faceless woman, strolling the dark corridors along the silent rooms, peeking through the dark loots of the corner trying to hear the cherubim outside, the talks and laughter that echoes just outside the horizon where she limited herself off and she still peeks, afraid to let them smear.
She takes a deep breathe inside, she closes her eyes, she goes back strolling in the backyard of her mind and she now sees herself too deeply in things that she had prioritized for life long, that which she kept herself bounded with. Too ambitious to just escape for a second to listen the hymns of the nature outside defining it as the steps towards her future she saw herself growing but she still saw the larking shadow somewhere.
Time passed and she smiled though a vague one. Somehow vague she referred to her smile as and when she failed defining her own conscience with herself she defined herself as being different from others and down the line claimed to have an edge over others. And thus she started living a life which she herself made it up for herself and for people around her. Slowly and gradually she turned from a girl to a beautiful maiden and then started her life being a woman in the society. She took time as her slave, and her beauty to be her master, her words and wisdom as plans and people who we referred as friends for her became pawns on the chessboard. A touch which a woman preserves for her lifetime, she started using it to befall the pawns that fell on her path as specks of dirt. Friendship had no meaning unless she got bored with the fallen angels and wanted another and love for her lost its worth since the woman's touch which she had a pride on was now sold.
People came and people went and life as she saw it was fun and adventurous. But every adventure has its own ending. And even it had for her too. Because the day neared when she believed she got someone to stand by her side in her life, she relied on him with all her might, she trusted him, she loved him and last but not the least she lived for him but what came next made her look in awe cause she saw herself beaten on the same board on which she had been playing her game for centuries to go. Broke through her glass, shattered her beliefs,the world where she lived in cracked all over and light seeped through within, the light of knowledge, the light of life, the light of understanding and the light which she never wanted to accept.
And in ignorance of accepting the truth, she slid back to the lurking shadows she saw once but ignore it building her own fake world. She drew her own sketch of life and when the colors went haywire, her heart got conquered by darkness and she gradually slid back into the shadows. And now after this time she opens her eyes again and watches the butterflies outside swinging freely and she with her beauty trapped behind her own build shackles, no tear to drop by, no happiness to come by, no smile to light her, no eyes to glance by, trapped in her own shadow filled with ignorance and remorse. And she walked by with a candle in one hand to see her beauty once most admired. She stops by the mirror round the corner and puts the candle high for its light and what she saw was not a thing to wonder since the ignorance, the fear, the betrayal, formed in forth A FACELESS WOMAN.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
For long, I tried to get over it praying to god if only my life would be as luxurious as as the divine himself and would live the day smoothly without any worries or in simple words without to wait for anything but I was wrong in thinking that the god himself had to abide by the law and had to wait for their actions too. Well surprised!!! Talking in terms for those who believe in god unlike me, for those who vow their each and every day of their life for my following words, I would simply quote that even God who made this world and all these creations and passes decisions as devotees call as their fate all depends on waiting, even he waits for the time perfect to change a man's fortune either from gold to rock or the vice versa. And if ever we think back to the time how man and woman was created going back into the time strolling in the garden, we would have seen the wait for the urge of eating the apple by Adam and Eve and thus once the wait is over their pleasure of consequences and wait for us to be in this world.
For people like me, who is scientific enough to think God is not there and this whole world is created by the theories like big bang and we all got created from the biological components like protozoa and stuffs would also believe that it was not a play for a day or two to get created. Even this universe took ts time to get in shape. It might look for us a days work that suddenly getting born in this wonderful world and enjoy the nature's glacier around us but we overlook the wait of happiness of our mother who carried us in their womb for long nine months in wait for us to see the nature's play.
All in all we look the various aspects of life creating so many various theories and things and we as humans overlook the trivial but an essential component of our life and rather should say in everything in and around us and that is WAIT....Thats what drives us tomorow. A rich man in wait for the market to go up and get even richer, a poor in wait for some work to get rich, a girl and a boy in wait to fall in love, a teacher in wait to pass her knowledge, a student in wait to grasp them, a couple in wait to become father and mother, a baby in wait for his mother's carress, a farmer in wait for the seasons to change, an unemployed in wait to get employed, a thug in wait for an idiot to appear, a fisherman in wait for the fish to bite the bait, an artist in wait for his greatest art to appear and even GOD in wait for his blesings to devour.
Hence concluding may it whateer we say that its Time or our lines of fortune that makes our day to come, all I want to conclude that its just a tiny matter of worthful wait that makes our day. And to think of it what it gives the most satisfying look on our face, the most glorious moment, the happiest moment in our life???....Is it not when our wait is over?...To think about it, pondering over the face of a girl over with her wait to become a mother, a teacher over wth the wait to see her student prosper, a girl and a boy over with their wait and finally fall in love and so on. Its all we do regularly. Thats what keeps our emotions running. Waiting and then getting the worth of it.
So to end it in very simple words,
"Never give up. The time for you to become happy and gay will always turn around. The time for you to rise again will come again. The time the God will bless his love will rain again. But for all that to enjoy, we have to wait silent and patient as we ever canbe and that's when we get blessed by things we look forward the most."
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The touch of the cold drops to my skin
The ashes wet drop down herein,
The smoke around lingering,
The tracks forth seemed simply bogs,
And the cool breeze says it all.
The moment here I'm enjoying.
With a cup of coffee in one
and a bleak fag on the other toying
Looking at the lake singing,
A rhythm so unknown yet so soothing.
And I close my eyes feeling,
the warmth of the time in the early morn beaming,
The gentle rain wetted the party to the skin.
A surge of being happy without a reason.
A surge to feel the ever changing season.
A sweeping glory sways within,
I look deep down in me smiling,
The coffee feels the best I have tasted
And my heart so calm and saying,
Feel the rain, feel the calm
Feel the touch of our nature's nest,
Theres nowhere could be such a lovely mesh.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
He could feel her presence in front.
He could feel her getting warm.
Eyes tight closed he embraces his love,
snuggling her in his arm warm.
And the very first feeling crosses his mind.
The time he really wanted to freeze.
And heartbeats scattered as closeness sublimed,
And he could feel the lashes of her eyes.
Slowly and steadily his arms clasped around,
And he could hear her whispers light,
Warm hard breathing, not seemed to bound,
Emotions running high, like a wild hound.
And he feels her breath upon his neck,
Her tangled hairs falls upon her face.
He slides apart the hair aside,
And tenderly touches her wet lips bright.
And inside flashes the very first time
When he set his eyes on her.
And how much he loved her then
But to express he felt short for words.
But now he got a chance to speak,
Though speechless but much more than he feels
Of his love how much for her he is,
A chance he would never miss
To his love, for his love ...
With a wonderful Kiss.....
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
where spinning in the silence,
life moves to dusk from dawn.
And people lurk the corners of it
with a peace in mind,
In a state of pitiable apathy,
With faces glowing with fake kind.
Rage and Courage all set to hover,
but at their very need, sublime,
And at times when they are to be showered,
All they do is just run for cover.
OH! What a crap this world has become,
Bombings and shells everywhere.
Rules in is the terror and fear
And innocence is murdered with cunning spear.
Pyre burns high
of those who never meant to be there,
And roses turn pale
in the draining rain,
Falling on the graves like bouquet of flowers.
Is it the world we offered to accept?
Is it for what we opened our eyes?
In search of someone falling off to pieces,
Someone drowned in pain
And gradually love and peace slowly drain.
Oh, its time for all of us to know
of what means peace and to live a life,
with tranquility and courage in our heart,
We now set out to conquer the world.
A world free of wars and fights,
A world free of their terror heights,
A world sewn with the fragments of people
with love and peace on a high ride.
No color, no religion, no reason what may
Can ever be again breed our dismay.
And hence with our new enthusia
We try to build our world of Utopia.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I can hear the footsteps tapping
On the happy and gale moments alive.
Dancing to the tunes of the melody
To the song sung by the bees in their hives,
of those dropping dews from those leaves,
To the tripping drop of rain on my eyes,
of the cool wind gushing through my hair,
To the soft splash of puddle on the road,
of those laughter and giggles that float,
To those happy faces I see everyday,
of those hopeful glances of the orange bloom over the horizon,
To those lazy gazing at stars aeon.
And I happen to enjoy every rhythm around,
Tapping my foot, my happiness unbound.
To the life I'm living and lucky to live,
What others say a life of Gratitude,
And I, dancing to the song of innocence, name it "The Sweet Solitude".
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I was in a strange park,
poorly playing the first guitar.
Yellow moon, right now the Moon is softly telling
you to open your eyes.
Young man, you are still dreaming.
Turn around, you are not alone.
Dream on, when will we meet?
Everyday, every night, until you reach the light,
I am sending you all my scattered emotions.
Magical chords change, a sleepless town.
A special guitar solo, in a soft minor key.
Of my lullaby of memories.
Friday, July 11, 2008
What were you thinking as you collected the old songs into one?
There is no second chance,
There is no second chance.
To throw it away, I'm such a fool.
The image of becoming innocent
That definitely won't end.
That definitely won't end.
Burn, this heart of love,
And cross a thousand dreams.
Run about as you please,
And seize the world in your hands.
The clouds scatter,
And the sun sets again.
This one man parade starts to move.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
For I knew I have to leave.
And strange are the ways of the world,
I came across her when I shouldn't have been.
Though I thought a glimpse wouldn't matter.
A word or two would that just be,
But who did know, that it would be
Someone to be in my dreams daily.
I'm always wrapped up with things I can't win,
But still lies a hope within,
And however strong I might seem,
That glimpse really did bring the child within beaming.
A strange shiver shook me up,
An odd silence echoed around,
I was awed by the beauty of it,
Those eyes, a glimpse, that's all I remember.
A glance full of laughter and joy,
A glance to make me feel transparent,
A glance to change a man to a boy,
A glance, enough to make me faint,
A glance, I thought would see again,
A glance. I long for it insane,
A glance, never to be forgotten,
A glance, flowing through my heart's terrain.
For a moment I saw a beautiful glance,
I thought it won't make much of a difference,
But with each blink I saw
A thousand angels dance
And down the way I went into a deep trance.
For reasons unknown, but, I do want a chance,
To swim in those beautiful ocean that never did last
'cause it came and swept away so fast
And left me wandering in those lovely orchid aghast.
In the cool, clear blue of watered ink.
Everything was quite in the blue light of dawn.
Far below, swathed in mist,
was the shadow of his small love.
Was the woman who seemed forth he sought down there?
The woman he needed so badly, he could think of little else.
Oh! It might be a dream,
of the long lost sunbeam.
He tried to remember what he had seen,
But all that came back was a blissful oblivion
And the outline of the one cradled in his arm,
Bathed in the glorious first ray of the sun.
I stood still apart from the crowd in a narrow moonlit lane,
My shadow flickered in and out,
Through the branches of overhanging trees breaking in the moonlight.
And gradually my eyes got accustomed to the lack of light,
And slowly my shadow came into the sight.
What marked was my bare chest, hairless,
And through the gloom my eyes red,
the air choked with a sudden loneliness.
Scorched by the ferocity of my gaze,
A pinch of solitude marked the maze,
And I stood alone in the narrow moonlit lane.
The solitude darkness did take to drown in a while
And somehow my lip less mouth curved
into something that looked like a smile.
Going back, when once upon a time,
I've been careless, and so
Thwarted by luck and chance,
Today I stand in midst of the lonliness' dance.
But now its time for a fresh start
To mend my ways onto further follow the path.
I cry out loud over my outpour of mirth,
Its time for rejoice, learn from the mistakes done
And tread on with a brand new birth...
In the air where the moisture lacks.
And it feels kind a happy to sail
On a day such as this,
Leaving behind the days once felt now cracked.
It really do feel to have been,
A lucky one to tread on such a road,
On a journey so beautiful yet unseen,
Feels like smothered with glory on the blades of the sword.
The taste of victory still lingering to it,
The taste of love and affection still shining,
Those days of craziness and pranks we did,
Marked like milestones, our faces smiling.
And now that the milestone seems to show
A path more tedious for us to grow,
These days will surely come over
'cause they have given me the most precious friends,
God could ever shower.
And it really do feels great
to look around for once,
A journey full of love and friendship, it still emanates.
And I really do have lived,
The life I wanted before I walk ahead.
And I could see the dust sway
A clear but cloudy day ahead,
And I walk on with my lonely fate.
And the roads still wet with rain,
Smothered with tears of pain,
Pain of being separated away
And with hope to be with again.
Lush green forest by the side,
A cold wave of breeze arrives,
And I see the days once lived
Lost in the forest leaving me to grieve.
Now for years I just wait and wait,
Walking on with my lonely fate.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
I come across those photographs old
Of those feelings that were so cold
And with them my life rolled.
For years I still lingered
for those glorious moments,
Seasons changed, people came,
But, over me, the reign of darkness hovered
Still I waited,
for there I remained.
The cold winter night
comes swaying in my sight,
Where I laid warm
In those bold eyes eyes bright.
The night seemed shortest
with her around,
And the longest
When she was not around.
The sun slowly showed his bless,
with the first ray beautifully shining the face.
And I just froze in that phase
And my pages still shines with her grace.
And still turning over the pages
And again the seasons changes,
Warm air sweeps the land,
And I find myself in those arms again strange
And these pages tells the tale
Of those hugs and kisses tight,
On that sweet summer fight.
I hate to turn the pages again,
for they ceased to exist for me now.
'Cause now seasons and years just rolled insane
And I searched myself in those pages
Wet eyed and my head bowed.
I never uttered a word,
Neither burst whats inside.
Covering it all with just a fake smile,
I waited and watched and watched
To find those pages again,
which left me far far behind.
And my diary seems to surpass me
kicking me gradually aside
Pushing me gradually out of sight,
Frightened and broken,
Craning to be by her side,
I went aside and into hide.
And in this darkness,
I lay silent.
My words echoing there inside.
No one to hear,
No one to care,
For those pages end up here,
With me shivering in fear.
But these pages don't end up here,
for they seem to shout loud
of the thing I ever did alive,
Was just wait and wait down here...
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Motivate your anger to make them realize
Climbing the mountain.
Never coming down?
Break into the contents.
Never falling down.
My knee is still shaking like I was twelve
Sneaking out the classroom by the back door,
A man railed at me twice but I didn't care.
Waiting is waisting for people like me.
Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry coz your so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears.
Coz you will hate yourself in the end.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Was still aligned and your sheets
Were growing grass all on the corners of your bed
But you've got too much to wear on your sleeves
It has too much to do with me
And secretly I want to bury in the yard
The grey remains of a friendship scarred
You told us of your new life there
You got someone comin' around
Gluing tinsel to your crown
He's got you talking pretty loud
You berate remember your ailing heart and your criminal eyes
You say you're still in love
If it's true what can be done
It's hard to leave all those moments behind
You tested your metal of doe's skin and petals
While kissing the lipless
Who bleed all the sweetness away
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
kissing me with your lips
and lit me with fire,
till I burn and my ashes drip.
And you kill me burning my pyre,
till your love trips,
and your passions sway
smashing me and
then throw away.
But I still live burning more higher
'cause sooner or later you would surely need
For whom I'll be always there to heed.
A bridge which they said was broken though
Railway tracks ran beneath,
And lonely dark lanes surrounding it.
Ruthless cars stomp the bridge
Never caring for that shadow in between.
A shadow too long for a height,
A shadow with visions bright,
A shadow very hard to fight,
A shadow so known, so familiar in sight,
A shadow with it, I no doubt was in love that night.
Yet I no longer long for it
'Cause its just a shadow I feared
And a spark of light would make it disappear.
And lastly what remains
wandering in my memory lanes,
Is the night I stood insane
On that very bridge that they say is broken...
To see the leaves all yellow and worn.
The sweet spring scent swept the air,
A day so perfect I lived so rare.
A perfect start
for a perfect task,
with mind so fresh
And heart so clear
Happy rhythms chimed within
and memories stream forth beaming.
Ahh!!! Those were the days.
when happiness reigned
and time just flew
like drops of rain.
So infinite were they,
But so precious in their own way,
Seems as if , it was just yesterday.
But now they have being lived
and with the swaying leaves have swept away.
Slowly the morning turned its shade
and before I realized,
the sky turned deep wine red.
Oh!! The sun just about to set,
So gorgeous and glorious in it gets.
And as the horizon
swallows up the sun,
The light is conquered and
the darkness runs.
I look up in the dark sky
and see the beautiful full moon light
which shone like the face of time
of moments they remind
So beautiful and lovely, which now sublimed.
And as i rest down my head,
lost in time on my bed,
I think how lucky to have been lived
a time just worth to keep as a memory gift.
The only precious thing to possess
No age, No time, Nothing can ever distaste.
Since these sweet times will always be cherished
And these memories will always live.
though knowing the fact that they have been broken apart years before I realized it. May be cause, I'm too coward to accept the fact or to say in rather harsh words, the truth really did take a hell lot of toll on me. Even though aware of the fact that the truth would sorely tax on me, but I could come over it, I never really did give it a try. Might be for one reason of me being madly in love with my own fantasy world, a world full of joy, fun, frolic, excitement, adventure and unbounded love. But my own world turned out to be a kind of a battlefield, with the stinking smell of cold war blowing over it and it hit me back too hardly as I never really did expect it to.
And to pity on me all the more I repeated my mistake not once, twice or thrice but each and every time, while I always had the chance of being on the safe side of the tide. But no matter what, mistakes are always followed by the punishments and the tides hit me hard on the face, and to my deep surprise, it still seems impossible to awaken me from my deep somber sleep. It seems as if death is a regular visitor by my doorstep, never really did come to take away my soul but to leave me with pain and suffering to suck away my poor life.
And now after all these time, I still seem to be in my own fantasy world overlooking the fact that
around me lied a world full of treachery, betrayal, felony and not an ounce of love remaining in the air but still I pretended it to be the same merry place as it always had been. It would have been soon that I would have ceased to exist, but there was still a ray of hope of my survival and that was the river gushing straight from my burning city of angels, which others called as life for me and I called it friendship.
And with every drop from this river that touched my soul, arose the same question again and
again that did I really deserved to be in this wretched place where at one time I really lived in my own ambiance, a world accepted and still loved by others. And ages passed, finding the answer to this quest, trying to blaze off the flame of guilt from me and accusing others to have been at fault and to have murdered my soul dragging me into all these mess, but today, at this venture of my journey where After all these accusation the river really did exist to give me my last hope for survival, I finally found the answer to the quest and it never really did come as a surprise to know the fact that I, all along have been at fault.
I might have created my own world of fantasy, fun frolic, love and adventure and known that I have been residing in it for so many years but what I didn't know was that in the very process of
building my world, many more joined in to make my world complete or to be more precise make me complete. And I being ignorant never really did gave them a damn and started drifting to a place so unknown, losing my conscious gradually and started living the lie, pretending that I still existed at the very place where I started from. And time just flew like the sands on dunes and before I could realize, before I could mend things up, the whole dune shifted and by the time I returned to my place made up by my own hands, I found it barren, not a single beating heart to find a rhythm with mine. It is then I realized, that what a valuable time I wasted following a non chalant trail of blood which I could have utilized to win a million hearts, a never ending list of friends and so much more love immortal and eternal in its own way, but all just vanished like a puff in the smoke, all because of my arrogance, stubbornness and ignorance.
Time indeed is the best teacher in life. It really did turn things upside down sometimes but at the end does keep a way open for us to seek a way out. The one last chance that Time did leave me for rebuilding my world of fantasy is that through the river of friendship and it never went dry. It still flows the same way as it had been washing my soul before. But I still find myself weak, timid, crouched with fear and Time really did showed me the hard way round for now I really had to wake up to face the bare truth and no matter how harsh it turned out to be it really did bloom out the man in me.
And now again, I start to cultivate my land with those echoing laughter, jeers and mockery, with a blend of never ending selfless love and with friends who always had been there may it be in times of my happiness or sorrow, a place where fun, laughter and enjoyment will rule, love will have its eternal glory and feelings would be felt from the very core of the heart.
And for people who never really did understand the above few lines and I really don't care for
those damn losers as I have never did anyways. So I'll be happy if they would satisfy themselves by sucking some other place or to be polite...
"TRESPASSERS YE BE WARNED"
And for people who forgive me for not realizing their worth in my life and for those who really did understand some of those vague lines; I welcome you to my world with open arms.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
The coffin slipped below the ground
with the body laid in it
But alas!!, It still beats the sound
'cause he still has his life in it.
And still he never gave a fight
nor did he force to come alive
And laid there silent, calm and tight,
and accepted as dead being alive.
And all this while
she stood above
watched the dead being buried alive
and instead she picked the mud,
face shining with an evil smile,
the mud fell on the coffin with a thud.
And he laid silent still beneath
listening to the falling ground,
in the darkness with calm
relishing being buried under the mud from her lovely palm.
Aah what a waste
he still lied there
beneath the ground in despair
thinking his soul would breathe
and body lay lifeless beneath.
But oh no, no.
Death never came to him,
the body got trapped with the soul within
And alive he remained there,
with all the memories haunting him.
He twiched, he fought, he tried to break
but all he got was pain pain and pain.
He thought of going in a deep somber sleep
So that never to rise again and see
for what once he thought belonged to him,
but now for rest and for him it ceased to exist.
But there he was
alive amongst the dead,
of the body which smelled of her
smothered in the mud spelled by her.
And the coffin still lies there
in wait for the one to open it again,
or in wait for death
to take away his soul and
free the lifeless body beneath the mud rain.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
you've dropped dead on the floor,
For those despair long years
To which you muster all your fears,
God always have the best for you in store.
Don't look back at the betrayals
For they would never matter again
For those fucking losers
who lost their turn in vain
For those feelings now stinks and stales.
Forget those wonderful words
for they weren't meant to be revered
for us being the glorious ones
'Coz until the end we still were there,
Though they never really deserved.
Nothing remains forever
Everything fades away
not even the fuckin memories
Disappearing like the night and the day
But unlike all of them
We still stayed.
Live the moment
forget the pain and forget the sorrows
let go off all your torments
gather up those last few fragments
'Coz theres always much more to life
rather being slaughtered with the sweet knife.
So I say, We raise the toast
To us, Still being there
To make the day and boast
Looking high towards the sky
And in aggregationt we greet
A thousand "CHEERS TO LIFE"
Friday, March 7, 2008
wanna catch up
But slips like the smoke apart
And the ashes remain beneath
Of those beautiful memories we lived.
Of those times we laughed together,
Those times of falling tears,
Of those mischiefs and pranks forever,
Those walks in the dark in fear,
Of those smokes of fag let out,
Times of falling out of concious sippin',
Times of untold love stories that frailed,
And many of those fights and quarrels that flew,
These ashes speak of them in this tearful adieu.
We will be gone
And all our memories will be blown,
We won't be here
To tell the tales of our stories we shared,
But the ashes will remain in the air
To spread the scent which once we used to cherish here,
And the days remain few
Where we still remember them in this tearful Adieu.
and deep blue sky above,
The blooming sun right on top
and the yellow leaves from trees drop.
Sweet summer noon,
withn feelings they bloom,
sitting on a rocky platform,
with silence beside me
and drowning the glee,
I saw the raising thunderstorm.
The air smelling the sweet summer rain
On the sardonic little lane.
No gain, but still no pain
Feelin' Love, Seein' Love,
My heart goin' insane.
Feel the heat,
Feel the beat,
echoing the name loud and clear.
But whats the use
it's bleeding again
pricked by a pointed bloody spear.
So subtle beneath
So sombre inside,
The blood oozin' out.
I can feel the flow
The blood, my heart is smeared.
But why is it that,
Only I can see
And no one else within the sphere?
Hope the blood will clot
with days to come
But if it's so,
still nowhere else to go,
The deep red scar will always be there.